


Too Late To Save Him

by kallie_larry_forever



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-12
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-14 06:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4554726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kallie_larry_forever/pseuds/kallie_larry_forever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton commits suicide and Luke cant handel it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Late To Save Him

Ashton has been acting weird the last few weeks. Lately he has been distant. He hasnt been the happy cheerful Ashton I know and love. He also hasnt been eating as much. I am really worried about him. Everytime I've tried to ask him about, he either says his fine, changed the subject or tries to distract me with his gorgeous body.

I woke up to find an empty bed. Ashton wasn't laying there next to me asleep like he normally is. He always likes to sleep in and is a pain to get up in the morning. I was really worried.  
"Ashton!?" I yelled running through the house. I was rwaly scared  
I hoped he wasn't doing what I thought he is doing.  
I ran to the bathroom to find the door was locked   
"Ashton?"  
There was no answer.  
"Ashton baby, please open to door. I'm worried about you." I pleaded banging on the door. No answer.  
I ran into our room and grabbed my keys, before unlocking the bathroom door.  
Ashton was laying on the floor, in just his boxers, with cuts up both his arms and blood everywhere.   
I was now on tears. I sat down on the floor and pulled Ashton's limp body into my arms. He was still breathing. Only just. I grabbed Ashton's phone off the bench near the sink and called 000.  
I rode in the back of the ambulance with him, and called Michael and Calum on the way to the hospital.  
When they took Ashton in for surgery, I fell to the ground in tears. I didn't want to leave his side. I was so scared I was going to lose him.  
After about an hour, the doctor came and spoke to us.  
"I'm so sorry Mr Irwin, we did everything we could. As well as the cuts, there was also a large amount of painkillers in his system. The large blood lose and the large amount of pills was to much for his body to handle. Your husband's dead. (Ashton and I have been married for three years. 5sos broke up 18 months ago.)  
I broke down to the floor in tears. The love of my life is dead.   
"NO!? HE CAN'T BE DEAD." I screamed.  
Michael pulled me into his arms.  
"I'm so sorry Luke." 

The funeral was the following week. Ashton's mum wanted me to make a speech. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.  
"Ashton was my whole world. He was the love of my life. He was the reason I got up in the morning. He was the reason I went to bed. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning, and the last at night. He was my reason for existence. I remember when we formed 5 Seconds of Summer, Ashton didn't like us at first, but as time when on he actuallg started to like us, then eventually loved us. I loved Ashton from the start. From the moment I met Ashton, I knew he was the one. Even when he didn't like me, I loved him. About a month ago, we were talking about adopting a little girl and starting a family. Now its all too late. I just want him back. I knew something was wrong with him. I knew he wasn't right. Everytime I'd ask him about it, he would say he was fine or changed the subject. I didn't push it. I knew Ashton. He was very stubborn and would've told me when he was ready. This is all my fault. If I just pushed him on it, he might still be here. I would still have my beautiful husband." I was now a a wreck. Calum and Michael had to help me back to me seat.

Two weeks. That's how long I lasted without him. About a week after the funeral, I was going through Ashton's phone. I was looking at all the crazy and gidy selfies we took together, when I accidentally went into notes. It was there I found a letter addressed to me. It was he suicide note. Ashton knew I would go through his phone. He knew I'd find it eventually.  
Dear Luke,  
I love you so much. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was happening. I loved you too much to worry you, because you always worried about me too much. You were my whole world Lukey. You were the only reason I stayed strong for so long. You literally kept me alive. I didn't want to leave you. I cared about you to much to cause you that much heartache, but I gave in. I gave into the hate and into my depression. I need you to stay strong for me. I want you to live the life we planned without me. I want you to adopt and raise a little girl as our own for both of us . I want you to watch her grow into a beautiful woman we could both be proud of. I want you to stay strong and join me only when your time come. Please don't be a cowardand give into the temptation like I did. Live your life for both of us. Lucas Robert Irwin, I know you can do it. You are so much stronger then I was.

-Ashton xoxo 

I read and re-read the letter over and over again. My poor baby. He is so wrong. I can't do what he wants me to do. I am not as strong as he thinks I am. I can't live without him.  
I went into the bathroom, broke one of my razors and grabbed the blade. I sat down on the floor with my back against the bath tube and started cutting. I made a long deep cut from just below my elbow down to my wrist. I did the same on my other arm. I think started to make deep cuts on my thighs, before passing out unconscious. It only took about three minutes for my heart to give out. I could now spend eternity with Ashton


End file.
